My thoughts on grief
We all lose people in our life.
Some of us have the fortune of getting to spend a whole lifetime with our loved ones, and some the time is too short and quickly gone.
But no matter how long we’ve spent with those we love, when they go is immensely difficult.
I think about grief a lot these days. I think about my life and their place within it, the absence that is there and the need to do right by these people.
What comforts me?
I find comfort in three things mainly.
A poem, a quote and a notion.
They offer me the chance to think and reflect and act as points to direct my thoughts and think about it within the context of something rather than just thoughts idly passing through me and occupying space within my mind.
A poem on grief
Poetry has always comforted me, even from a young age. I think that the current education system has done poetry a grave injustice. This is why I advocate for the importance of poetry. There are a great deal of poems that deal with grief however I always find myself coming back to the same one.
This special poem is Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep possibly by Mary Elizabeth Fry. I think the concept of someone being at one with the earth and more importantly unable to die as they live on inside us is truly beautiful. The poem reads incredibly well and satisfies my every desire of what a poem should be. It gives me hope that beyond death we all live. That we live not in some kind of afterlife or immortal plane but within the people that we loved.
A quote about grief
This quote is not nearly as beautiful as the poem or the notion in terms of its origin. This quote is actually from Wandavision but from first hearing it I couldn’t ever forget it. I think it’s poignantly beautiful and partially because of how simple it is.
What is grief, if not love persevering?
Wandavision
The idea that the fact that we grieve is ongoing and everlasting proof that we loved and continue to love. It’s reassuring that it is not for nought and that they still hold a place within our hearts.
A notion on grief
I am unaware of where this idea comes from, I know it isn’t unique and original as I’ve heard it over the years. It’s mentioned in countless poems and also through the phrase ‘ashes to ashes, dust to dust’.
I also care not to research into it, my grief will be worked on internally and not through google searches.
The idea is that we are returned back to the earth, that we are all leaves of a tree that fall and take their place to create the soil for the tree. The concept that after our time on this earth, we go back to being a part of the earth for as long it’s around.
Perhaps that’s a scary concept to some, I could quite see how that would be the case. Although I think for some, like myself, there is comfort in it. That no matter how small we are, we are part of something much grander than ourselves. We are worker bees that serve a colony, unaware of how long the nest will survive or even what our life is for.
Concluding thoughts
I hope that there has been some comfort within these words. This post is merely how I work through and process grief. That is not to say that my way is at all right, it’s certainly been a struggle and I’d love to hear how you grieve for sake of seeing if it’d be beneficial for me. However, if even one person has found an ounce of comfort from these words then I think it’s served its purpose.
